Here are biblical examples that demonstrate Jesus entering into difficult relationships and messy situations with love and grace:
1. Jesus and Judas (Matthew 26:14-16, 47-50) Despite knowing Judas would betray Him, Jesus treated him with kindness and included him in His inner circle. Even at the Last Supper, Jesus washed Judas’s feet, exemplifying humility and love.
2. Jesus and Peter (Luke 22:54-62; John 21:15-19) After Peter denied Jesus three times, Jesus didn’t reject him. Instead, He restored their relationship by asking Peter three times if he loved Him, reaffirming Peter’s calling to lead and serve.
3. The Woman at the Well (John 4:7-26) Jesus engaged with a Samaritan woman who had a complicated past. He didn’t condemn her but offered her living water, demonstrating compassion and breaking social barriers.
4. The Leper (Matthew 8:1-4) When society shunned lepers, Jesus not only healed a man with leprosy but touched him—a profound act of love and acceptance.
5. Jesus on the Cross (Luke 23:34) As He was crucified, Jesus prayed for those who were killing Him: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” This ultimate act of love shows His commitment to forgiveness even in extreme adversity.
6. Zacchaeus the Tax Collector (Luke 19:1-10) Jesus sought out Zacchaeus, a man despised for his corruption, and invited Himself to Zacchaeus’s home. This act of inclusion led to Zacchaeus’s repentance and transformation.Jesus and the Pharisees (Matthew 23:1-36)
7. Jesus and the Pharisees Jesus confronted the Pharisees with grace and truth, pointing out their hypocrisy while still offering them a path to redemption.
8. Jesus and the Adulterous Woman (John 8:1-11) Jesus showed compassion and forgiveness to the woman caught in adultery, challenging her accusers and offering her a new start.
9. Jesus and His Family (Mark 3:20-21, 31-35) Jesus faced opposition from His own family, who didn’t understand His mission. He responded by defining His family as those who do God’s will.
10. Jesus and the Rich Young Ruler (Mark 10:17-22) Jesus engaged with the rich young ruler, who was difficult due to his attachment to wealth. Jesus challenged him to follow Him fully.
11. Jesus and the Disciples’ Disputes (Luke 9:46-48, 22:24-30) Jesus addressed the disciples’ arguments and competitiveness, teaching them about humility and service.
12. Jesus Walked Away from Toxic People (Luke 4:28-30; Matthew 15:14) In situations where people were hostile or unrepentant, Jesus sometimes walked away or allowed them to leave, demonstrating discernment in dealing with toxicity while remaining focused on His mission.
Walking away in the context of people behaving badly or making life difficult for one another is a nuanced situation. While Jesus often walked away from toxic or unrepentant individuals, His actions were always guided by discernment and mission focus. Here’s how this principle might apply to believers:
- Walking Away Isn’t Limited to Evangelism
Jesus didn’t only walk away from those rejecting His message of salvation (e.g., Matthew 10:14). He also disengaged from situations where continuing would have been unproductive or harmful, such as with Herod (Luke 23:9) or the crowd demanding miracles without faith (Matthew 8:18). This shows that walking away can apply to relational dynamics, even among believers, when toxicity persists.
2. Dealing with Believers Behaving Badly
When professed believers act in ways that disrupt unity or harm relationships, biblical principles still apply. Jesus emphasized reconciliation and forgiveness (Matthew 18:15-17), but He also taught boundaries. For example, Paul advised believers to avoid divisive individuals after multiple warnings (Titus 3:10). This approach balances grace with accountability.
3. Tests Before Walking Away
Before deciding to walk away, it’s essential to test whether the action reflects Christ-like behavior:
• Have efforts been made for reconciliation? Jesus taught the importance of addressing issues directly and seeking peace (Matthew 5:23-24; Matthew 18:15-17).
• Is the behavior persistently harmful or unrepentant? Walking away may be appropriate if someone refuses correction and continues causing harm.
• Is the decision rooted in prayer and discernment? Jesus often withdrew to pray before making significant decisions (Luke 6:12).
4. The World Is Watching
How believers handle conflict publicly matters. Families, colleagues, and communities observe whether we embody Christ-like love and forgiveness—or fall into gossip and division. Paul reminds us that our conduct should reflect lives “worthy of the calling” (Ephesians 4:1-3). Walking away must be done with humility and grace, leaving no room for bitterness.
Ultimately, walking away is not about abandoning relationships but recognizing when continuing engagement hinders spiritual growth or unity. It’s an act of trust—entrusting the situation to God while remaining committed to living out His love in all circumstances.